How do I deal differently with a father who is critical of so many things I do, say, etc. He yells a lot and tries constantly to control all aspects of my life. – Debbie, Age 18

You must learn two lessons if you are to associate with people given to criticism. First, you must learn to be an “emotional matador.” You must not become a target. You become a target by expecting or hoping that your father (the bull) will satisfy your need. Listen to the audio “How to be an Emotional Matador,” or attend the seminar of the same title. Matadors take bull fighting seriously, but not personally. Your father is your bull. Listen beyond his words. They tell you about his venerability. Second, you must learn about criticism. People who have yet to learn to process their emotions become emotionally constipated. Eventually, they can not hold back their emotions any longer. Finally, these trapped emotions begin to leak out in the form of criticism. Emotional constipation can take years to develop, but when it does–watch out. Personal constipation rarely has to do with others. Take your father’s criticism seriously, but not personally.